So what's changed? Well, I have a book published, and another coming out next year. This has been a dream of mine since I was 13 years old, and to say it's been a life-altering experience is an understatement. Whatever happens in the future – and I hope that involves getting more books published, but you can never take anything for granted in this business – there is a book out there with my name on it. Yes, I'm still pinching myself.
Even more thrilling is when readers get in touch to tell you they've enjoyed your book. My favourite email so far has to be from a lady who told me that thanks to ACID, she's started reading again after a very long break. To think that the words I wrote on my sofa, on my dented laptop, can do that for someone… wow.
I've also been doing lots of school visits and events. Writing can be a lonely business, and it's so much fun to get out and meet readers and other authors – I love it!
What hasn't changed, however, is that I still don't feel like I know what I'm doing. At all.
I used to think that if I got published, something would go ping inside my head and all the struggles I encountered when trying to write my novels would magically disappear. I'd feel confident about my plots. I'd be able to work out my characters' motivations first time round. I wouldn't get stuck halfway through and have to go back and work out where it had all gone wrong. And I most definitely wouldn't have many, many days where I felt like the Worst Writer Ever™ and doubted my ability to finish a single sentence.
Er… no. Ironically, since ACID sold, I've doubted myself more, not less. This has partly been the dreaded second novel syndrome (yes, it exists) - writing to a deadline for the first time EVER, worrying whether my publisher will like it, worrying whether readers will like it… you get the idea.
Part of it also comes from being more aware of the writing process. Now, when something in my stories isn't working, I know straight away. I can no longer kid myself that it'll be OK, and carry on in a haze of blissful ignorance. These days, writing is a stop-start-stop-start process for me; very rarely do I sit down and start typing, and the words just flow.
But I've found ways of coping, mostly by reminding myself that I've done this before, and I can do it again. There's always a way through, even if finding it involves a lot of rewriting, hair-pulling and
And nothing beats the excitement of opening up a blank word document and typing the first line of a story that's been keeping you awake at night – it's worth all the stress that inevitably follows, just for that!
Having a support network has helped, too. Getting to know other writers via Twitter and Facebook has led to me being involved with two group blogs, The Lucky 13s and Author Allsorts. Once upon a time, I kept my writing a secret and didn't know any other writers at all. Now, I know many other people who understand the highs and lows of the writing process, which makes those difficult times less scary.
To finish, here are two of those moments of total awesomeness…
No. 1: ACID has been nominated for the 2014 Coventry Inspiration Book Award, 'Just the Book' (14+) category. I don't know who else is on the shortlist yet, and the winner isn't announced until February, but as soon as I have more details, I'll let you know. Here's the 2013 shortlist - I think you'll agree that whoever's on it this time round, I'm going to be in some very distinguished company!
No. 2: last week, ACID was Number 3 in the Waterstones Children's Sci-Fi Bestsellers list, two books below Rick Yancey's THE FIFTH WAVE. Waah! A huge thank you to everyone who's bought, read and helped spread the word about ACID - it wouldn't have got there without you!
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| Thank you!! |
Before you go, check out today's post over at Author Allsorts, where I and some other members of the group are sharing our favourite pieces of advice for budding authors and illustrators.
See you next time!
I wonder if it's something about being British, Emma - I know many of us, skilled in several fields, who wake up sweating as this might be the day they are Found Out - to be frauds. After all my years in Child Protection, doing research, writing, presenting at Conferences, I still believed that one day someone would stand up and suggest I didn't know what I was talking about!
ReplyDeleteBut you have wonderful nominations to reassure you - evidence of how fab your writing is! So you can banish those not-good-enough thoughts!
You've put it perfectly, Jo - it's that fear of being 'found out'! I don't suppose it will ever go away – and that's probably a GOOD thing, as it means you don't get complacent. Glad to hear I'm not the only one!
DeleteThat's wonderful news re. ACID - what an amazing start for your lovely book! Yes, you're right that the writing process doesn't get easier, but as you said, you become aware of the pitfalls a bit more and start to trust your instincts. Loads of luck with Book Number 2 - can't wait for it to come out!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Abi! xx
DeleteWhat a lovely post, Emma. I read this going, 'Yep, yep...' and nodding like that insurance company dog. I still feel that way and my third has just come out. Like Joe says, I think it's a British thing but also a female thing, sadly. I recently heard a podcast called Fake it Til You Make it (Writing Excuses...fab blog) and it really resonated..
ReplyDeleteThank you, Caroline - I will have to listen to that podcast!
DeleteI always have the vague feeling that I'm getting away with something and that any moment a fearsome hand will clamp down on my shoulder and say "I'm sorry, there's been a horrible mistake. You're not allowed to do this any more...." :)
ReplyDeleteMe too, Jo! I don't think you have anything to worry about, though. Your writing is wonderful!
DeleteYou give us all hope Emma, I like what you said about knowing what doesn't work and not being able to sit back and ignore it, the more I write the more I recognise what does and doesn't work!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lisa!
DeleteGood post Emma. I haven't any experience of after publication, but I can relate to a lot of what you say. It's nice to know published authors have the same doubts we all do. Thanks xx
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lynn! xx
DeleteCongratulations on the nomination, Emma, and for getting up so high in the table! You and ACID totally deserve it. x
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lucy! x
DeleteHooray for Emma! Well done!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Dan! :)
DeleteWhat a great post! I think most of us found ourselves doubting how good we really are, and the artists types like writers even more! But keeping on typing even through the bad days will lead to another new book, and I for one, can't wait for it, since I loved ACID!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the nomination!!
Thank you, Pili! And so pleased you enjoyed ACID!
DeleteWow. That was fascinating. I've heard a lot about the dreaded second novel, and how hard it can be, but I've never thought about how simply knowing more about writing can make it harder to get the words down. I can see how it would, though. Even now it's harder for me than it used to be, and I'm not yet published. The upside is having the tools to know how to fix what's wrong (even if one of those tools *is* the occasional glass of wine), and having an established network of people to help.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Caryn. I totally agree!
DeleteA fortnight after I bookmarked this and I just got round to reading it (yes, I'm both disorganised and a fully paid-up member of the Slow Readers Group...). Congratulations on your nomination - that's amazing news! And I can SO relate to feeling that everyone else in my field is so much better than me, that I'm such a charlatan, and any minute now I'm going to fall flat on my face. I don't suppose it'll ever get any easier. But then again, they say nothing worthwhile is ever easy, which I suppose is consolation of a sort! :-/
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kate! (And no worries about taking a while to get to it, it's taken me 3 days to reply! :P) Oh, that is so true. Glad it's not just me!
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