While I'm in the writing cave finishing my WIP, some of my fellow Lucky 13s are stepping in to guest blog for me. This week, I'm handing over to Ellen Oh.
So since Emma invited me to share
something with her blog readers, I thought I’d share a story about my Mom and
how she kept me sane during the time I was querying PROPHECY. I had just left
my previous agent and was in that phase of wondering if I’d ever get
representation again and I was a nervous wreck. I stressed about everything, I
checked my email box hundreds of times, I stalked agents online, wondering
whether or not they were reading my MS, I second guessed myself all the time. I was not rational. And it didn’t help that it seemed like all my
writer friends were getting book deals while I still labored in the trenches. I
couldn’t see clearly. Until my Mom gave me the smackdown.
My folks came down for a visit during the height of my submission craze. They'd
known that I'd been under a lot of stress and were worried about me. The first
thing my Mom said was to turn off the laptop. "All that computer does is
give you stress. Turn it off and come sit down and talk."
I turned off the computer and sat down, heart sinking for the lecture that I knew
was coming. It won't matter if I'm 60 years old, my parents will always lecture
me. That's life.
"Ellen, why are you so stressed about this book?" my Mom asked.
"Why don't you forget about it already."
"That's impossible, Mom. I just can't forget it."
"Not forget forever. Just for a little while," my Mom said.
"Listen, don't be stuck on your book. Let it go and be happy. When you are
happy, really happy, then go back to it. Nothing works when your brain is
filled with stress." She rubbed at the crease between my eyebrows.
"Your brain is all filled with worry and stress and miserableness. Why you
want to put that in your book? You put that in your book - who will want to
read it? Happiness makes you healthy. Healthy makes your brain happy. Then you
write your book."
I nodded and sighed. "It's not that easy..."
"Of course it's not easy." My Mom shook her head at me. "You and
your sister got your writing gene from your Dad. He's a great writer. Great
newspaper columnist (my Dad had a column in the national Korean American paper
for years). But then he writed 3 books and they don't do good. He's depressed
and gives up writing. That's why he's worried about you girls. But I'm not
worried. I know one day people will applaud me just for being your mother. You
will be great one day. But don't rush it. You don't have to. I will live until
I am 110! You have plenty of time. Don't rush."
I began to laugh. "Thanks Mom. Maybe one day then it'll all work out for
me. It's just hard when I see all my friends succeed and I wonder when it will
happen to me."
My Mom smiled and grabbed my hands. "What kind of writer will you be? Some
writers will write 10 books that are all forgettable. You will be the writer
that writes one book, but it will be unforgettable. I believe in you. Some
people lay eggs that turn into chickens - others lay eggs that turn into
eagles. You are no chicken. You are an Eagle. One day you will soar."
"Funny - I thought you were going to say swan, but I like the eagle
analogy better," I said.
"Swan, BAH! Only look good on outside. Open its mouth and the ugliest
sound come out. Eagle is better. Look strong, look powerful, be strong, be
powerful."
"Thanks Mom, you're right."
"Of course. I'm almost always right."
